What do I want to be when I grow up?

Random life/career thoughts/questions...

Have you ever taken a career or personality test of some sort? I don't know why I take them, since they never really tell me the answer I'm looking for - What to do when I "grow up." Yet, despite the lack of answer, I continue to play the game and think some magical test some stranger created will actually tell me what I should be when I grow up. Today I took another career test and it made me think about how I answer the questions. Do I answer questions honestly or how I want others (including myself) to see me? Are these two the same? I find that the answer the tests generate are always predictable. Perhaps this is due to that fact I always get the same answer - "you want a creative occupation that allows you freedom to express yourself and help others." One, does this option exist? Two, is this really what I want or is this based on the answer that I would rather play with Legos than Monopoly (yes, this was an actual question I answered today.)? How do people decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives? Do you think people are actually happy in their jobs or just go to work for the pay check? I'm sure more often than not the answer is the latter, but I'm still young and naive enough to want more. I want to have the personal life that excites me, but I also want to thoroughly enjoy what I spend 9+ hours doing every day. Is this too much to ask? Is it really all about making yourself happy those last 4 hours every day and on the weekends and just surviving the 8-5 M-F life? I sure hope not. I hope one day that little test will tell me what I should do with my life or I figure it out somehow.

The other challenge with figuring out what you want to be when you grow up (or at least for me), is realizing you're actually grown and you have a life and responsibilities. What I mean by this is that I'm no longer a 22 year old college graduate who thinks she can go anywhere in the world and just get a job doing anything. Just because I think it would be interesting to be doctor or lawyer doesn't mean I can just snap my fingers and be that, as these careers require qualifications (i.e. specific degree) which I lack. Also, it's not as easy to just go back to school to obtain these qualifications as it would have been at 21 or 22. At this point I have financial responsibilities like everyone else that require more than Monopoly money for payment. Thus, taking 3-5 years off to go back to school isn't a possibility. So, faced with the obvious obstacles of being an adult, but still grasping to that naivety of an idealistic child, how do you decide what to be and how to realistically obtain that role? Being an adult isn't as cracked-up as I thought.

It's time to put down the 3 Musketeer Bar and walk away

OK, so to say I haven't been leading a very healthy lifestyle including exercising and eating the right foods would be an understatement. What's worse is that it shows :( I've packed on a good 15-20lbs since grad school and unfortunately all those clothes I mentioned yesterday that I love just don't quite fit despite the pants dance. I was basically in denial for a long time. I thought perhaps the magic fairy would swing by and with a touch of her magic wand and a little fairy dust make all those evil pounds disappear. I was sure of it. Well I think Ms. Fairy must be on vacation or couldn't find me due to a name change, because you better believe every ounce of that extra weight has stayed. It has officially worn out its welcome. Now what to do about it...





I'm not the best when it comes to sticking to diets and exercise. Actually, I could potentially be the worst at it. Unfortunately I have to suck it up and just do it, because as my doctor told me when I brought up my little weight issue back in the Spring, I'm not 18 anymore and I can't eat whatever I want and not work out and expect to stay thin. Sad face. Now I didn't quite believe her and continued my two-a-day routine (just to clarify I'm not talking about two workouts per day, I'm talking about my two 3 Musketeer bars per day habit). This bad behavior has to come to a halt. I didn't quite grasp the severity of my actions until I realized that the presence of an elastic band became mandatory for everything I wore. Oops.





In order to make the extra pounds disappear, along with that unsightly elastic band, I have decided to utilize my gym membership and go workout during lunch. My membership is to the gym on campus where I work, so there's really no good reason why I can't work out instead of visiting the 3 Musketeers, and since there's no time like the present, I started today. Oh.My.Word. I am out of shape. I was sweating like a pig at a roast and for as red as my face got, you would think I was hanging over the fire! What's worse is that the three faculty members who I might add are twice my age, were working out at the same time and kicking my butt! Epic fail. Although I thought I was going to die and wanted nothing more than to be a beached whale by the ocean after my workout, I hope this becomes a lunchtime routine. I might need people to hold me accountable and push me towards the gym and not the vending machine, but I'm hopeful. Any recommendations?

Sometimes I feel like a walking contradiction

Occasionally/nearly everyday I usually have at least one moment where I feel like a walking contradiction. It's basically the only way I can think of to describe myself. You're probably sitting there asking yourself what exactly is this cah-razy lady talking about. Well let me explain via a couple of examples...


I LOVE to travel. I mean I know that's extremely cliche, but I swear, I LOVE it! Not the whole packing/waiting in airport security lines and then being patted down like you're about to enter a maximum security prison whilst attempting to smuggle in an old-timey filing tool to dig your way out experience, but the whole seeing a different country/state/city and finding new hidden gems that you just can't get at home. I've been fortunate enough to travel to various countries/states/cities and have had some of the best experiences a girl could ask for. I use to think I wanted to travel for work and wouldn't mind living out of a suitcase, but I've come to realize this isn't exactly true. As much as I love to travel and be in a different place, I also love to be at home. Now if only I could clone myself and be in two places at once, this would not be a problem, but since this probably isn't going to happen, I am left feeling like a walking contradiction - I love to be away exploring, but am also a homebody.


This feeling even falls into my fashion style. I cannot explain the obsession I have with clothes (perhaps my husband could provide insight when he built me a second closet or my family while transporting my five bazillion pairs of shoes to my new home in grad school). I love wearing a new dress for the first time or finding that pair of perfect jeans (it's a difficult task that often seems impossible), but I can't help but explain my style as completely and utterly contradictory. If I had to put a label on it I might call it "old timey trendy." Yes, I realize this label doesn't make sense at.all. What I mean is I adore new trends and try to incorporate some part of them into my everyday wardrobe, but at the same time I love some of the classic and old-timey (yes I use this phrase way too much and blame it on my husband for calling me that on a fairly regular basis) pieces/fabric. For example, I have a dress I purchased that reminds me of an old Victorian lace dress, just cut of mid-thigh (like I said, old timey meets today). I often enjoy wearing this little number with some a-mah-zing heels. Not just some boring black pumps (although a wardrobe staple), but some gorgeous heels. Such as these beauties:

I do not actually own this beaut, although wish I did, but it would be the type of shoe I pair with my Victorian-inspired lace dress. Anyway, you get the idea - old meets new.



I could go on forever on this idea of 'walking contradiction,' but you get the idea. I'm sure everyone can relate, right?

Jumping on the Bandwagon...

So I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and start a blog. I know, I know, basically everyone and their mother and little ole granny have a blog by now, but I'm a little late getting into the game. Truth is, I've been thinking about starting one for quite some time and have put it on my infamous "to-do list" (I do LOVE my lists), but just never got around to actually starting one. So, I'm taking the plunge. I can't promise it will always be oh-so-exciting to read (I lead your average 9-5 lifestyle, how exciting can everyday be, right?), but I'll do my best. Basically this blog will be a hodge-podge of whatever I want to write about. Sometimes (come on, who am I kidding, most of the time) it will be about something going on in my life, but other times it might just be a random thought that popped into my head that day. So here's hoping that this will be somewhat entertaining or at the very least be an interesting ride.